Eventually, there comes a time when the parents who doled out your allowance need help managing their finances. Unfortunately, this role reversal can make both parties feel uncomfortable: Parents may feel reluctant to give up control, and adult children may hesitate to infringe on their privacy.

"There is no template to follow when discussing parents' finances," says Carol Schneider, a trust officer with Fifth Third Bank. "Each family is unique and has its own family dynamics." However, she does offer tips on how to broach this delicate topic. For starters, she encourages families to begin these discussions sooner rather than later. "All too often, financial matters aren't discussed until there's a crisis - and this makes an already stressful situation worse."

In an ideal world
It is enormously helpful when parents sit down and "open their books" by providing a complete list of all their assets, their values and where they are located. This may include savings and checking accounts; retirement accounts; and titles to the house and cars.

It is also beneficial when parents share copies of their will and other estate planning documents and provide a list of those who advise them on financial, legal and health care matters. Also, knowing about potential family wealth transfer can help adult children plan more accurately for their own retirement and children's college educations.

In the real world
Unfortunately, this scenario is seldom the case. Parents are often reluctant to open up about their financial matters. "I encourage children to approach this subject at a comfortable time, preferably not at large family gatherings when there's lots of commotion," Schneider says. She also encourages families to plan for these discussions and prioritize topics by importance. Is it long-term care insurance that's most important or the need to update beneficiaries on accounts?

She also encourages children to approach these topics in a non-threatening way. "You could say you were thinking about getting life insurance and ask your parents if they have policies and who their agents are. Parents may feel more comfortable sharing information when they know their judgment is respected," Schneider says. "You may not get all the information you need at once, but it's a good way to start the dialogue."

Consider wealth-planning services
Schneider also encourages grown children to look into wealth planning services, which gather the parents' financial documents and assemble them into a comprehensive portfolio. This can include a list of all their assets, their value, where they are located and how they are titled, even if they are held at other financial institutions. In some cases, adult children may want to encourage their parents to simplify by keeping all their financial assets at a single institution.

Planning for retirement is a never-ending task, and Schneider reminds families that some banks can review parents' portfolios. Banks can also assist with determining whether current strategies are taking advantage of tax planning options.

"With family members often scattered across the nation or even around the world, it can be difficult to have these discussions in person," Schneider adds. "However, distance shouldn't prevent adult children from having these discussions. When our older customers are willing, we are very happy to discuss these matters with other family members over the phone," Schneider adds.

For more tips on how to discuss financial issues with elderly parents, contact Fifth Third at (866) 475-4201 or visit 53.com.

Fifth Third does not provide legal or tax advice. Please consult your legal or tax advisor before making any decisions or taking any action based on this information.